Ariana (kyuukumber) wrote,
Ariana
kyuukumber

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Also, the internet is a series of tubes.

Any day where your mother decides to wake you up at six so you can go with her lady friends to a "women's breakfast lecture" on "stress" is bound to be an interesting one. I found myself, at 7 AM, seated in a room where the average age was 95 and men weren't allowed, where the lecturer was conducting Neuroscience for Dummies, and where we were told to "always carry our stress rainbows with us". My favorite part? "Stress is like email. One or two emails are fine, but when you get overrun with spam emails your computer shuts down and you have to reboot. It's the same with stress! You will crash if you get too much spam"

HOKAY. A) the average 95 year old woman in that room has no idea what email is. B) Since when did too many emails make my computer crash? YOU HAVE BOGGLED MY MIND.

Oh, and THEN? There was a raffle. I went to the bathroom, because in 20 years of living I have never won a raffle, and only in a case of extreme irony could I possible win this one...Aaaaand I have won a free manicure and pedicure! For my ravaged, stubby nails! HOORAY, IRONY, YOU REIGN VICTORIOUS.

After which I went to my internship and was forced to call people, which resulted in me shaking so badly I utterly failed to press the numbers on the telephone. I'm not joking, I had to slowly and meticulously guide my finger to each key while breathing like a woman in labor ;___;

But then I got a job! It's at a little family owned, Turkish cafe with the most orgasmic food I have ever consumed, so now I can call Mr. Enormously Skeevy from my last interview and tell him I'm too good for him and his "3 day trial period".

In other news, I can't stop watching Six Feet Under. It's quite possible that I am addicted to Michael C Hall.
Tags: internship, old ladies!, six feet under
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